Kia’s Hamsters Are Back And They’ve Accidentally Conjured Up Some Sexy Lady-Hampster Companions

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It’s been, what, like five years? Maybe six? Either way, those lovable Kia Hamsters are back again, this time touting the brand’s new electric vehicle, the Kia Soul EV.

In the ad, our fury friends are in the lab working on a new vehicle. When they are ready to make the final, magical adjustment, one of their normally-sized furry friends rolls into the lab and gets zapped along with the car.

The result? An epically hot Hamster Human Hybrid. Get it? Yea, we thought you would. But the “mistake” doesn’t stop their. After all, our human-sized hamster boys are alone in this world and they need all the company they can get. SO why not dabble in just a little more Weird Science shenanigans? Yea, why not.

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Kia’s Hamsters Are Back And They’ve Accidentally Conjured Up Some Sexy Lady-Hampster Companions

This Political Campaign Ad Features A Horse With A Large Erection

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There’s a campaign ad for Republican congressional candidate Gary Kiehne, the guy who once said 99% of mass shooting are committed by Democrats, in which Garry is accompanied in the background by a horse with a large erection. Or, as one commenter pointed out, the horse is taking a leak and that’s what happens when horses take a leak.

Either way, it’s an oversight that, yea, should not have happened. But we are so glad it did because we get to use the word “erection” in another story. Yes, we are easily amused.

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This Political Campaign Ad Features A Horse With A Large Erection

Shoes By Jews Launches Platform Shoes With Dick Joke

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Apparently based on findings from OK Cupid which revealed guys who are taller get more dates and hookups, a group of enterprising, but short, Jewish guys decided to launch ShoesByJews, a line of footwear that adds 2-3 inches to ones height with stylish shoes that don’t look like platform shoes.

To promote the launch, they’ve released a video on YouTube which fully leverages the notion (myth?) that a bigger dick will get a guy more sex. Except in the video they’re talking about how taller guys score with more women.

Of course, the whole thing has spawned a bitch-fest over at Hacker News where people are debating whether this is a good thing or it’s yet another example of people’s insecurities and preconceived notions.

But, as many have pointed out, platform shoes are like padded bras. Once you get down to business and the clothes come off, every physical truism is laid bare.

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Shoes By Jews Launches Platform Shoes With Dick Joke

Watch This Swordsman Play A Real-Life Game of Fruit Ninja

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So PillsburyToaster Strudel teamed up with Guinness Book of World Records-holding swordsman Isao Machii for a crazy stunt in Los Angeles. The brand gathered a crowd and let them toss all kinds of fruit — and Toaster Strudel — at him and he deftly sliced each one in half in mid-air.

The brand has also partnered with Halfbrick, makers of the popular Fruit Ninja app.Beginning August 7, Fruit Ninja players noticed Toaster Strudel through sponsored in-app challenges and videos with flying fruit that will play after each completed mission. Players will also be rewarded with Toaster Strudel coupons and other Fruit Ninja incentives.

Which is cool and all if you like to play Fruit Ninja but we much prefer the real thing.

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Watch This Swordsman Play A Real-Life Game of Fruit Ninja

How the Hell Did This Holiday Inn Express Video Get 1.8 Million Views?

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Either I’m stupid (entirely possible) or this is the biggest non-sequitor of all time. It’s entirely unclear how this Holiday Inn Express video achieved 1.8 million views since July 21. A group of astronauts are about to take off in the space shuttle. The Mission Control guy says, “Astronauts, August 14 will be the biggest day to remember.” An astronaut responds, “August 14? That’s my anniversary. I gotta go.” Another voice then says, “Uh, Houston, did anyone stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?”

Clearly there is a joke in there somewhere but it’s gone way over my head. Yea, I get that it has something to do with the fact the astronaut forgot his anniversary and should probably be with his wife rather than heading to space but I still don’t get it. Please explain.

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How the Hell Did This Holiday Inn Express Video Get 1.8 Million Views?